Death - celebration and mourning

Osama bin Laden is dead.

I saw all the news coverage of the American reaction and I was just suddenly so afraid that I was too far out of pace with my own country - that I'd been away so long, changed so much, and become to different to agree with anyone.  I didn't even understand when I first saw the footage - why were they cheering?  Why chanting USA?  What was with all the FDNY tee shirts?  Some news anchor explained that it was "closure" and "justice" and I wanted to be sick.  What about all the thousands and thousands of Afghani lives taken by a war that was supposed to bring "justice" and "closure" to the victims.  And what about the thousands of Americans who've died fighting that war - when do their families get closure - when George Bush gets assassinated?  The childish simplicity, the schoolyard "he poked me, I poke him" mentality of these people!  USA USA USA - this is Osama's greatest victory, that we chant our country's name to celebrate government sanctioned assassinations. 

 

Part of me thought, well, at least Obama pulled this out of his hat right around re-election time, which should really shut conservatives (maybe for a second...)  There's a joke picture of Obama going around the internet that says, Sorry it took me so long to get you my birth certificate.  I was too busy killing Osama bin Laden.  Liberals - or at least my liberal friends who posted this - think this is hilarious.  I want to know what happened to the anti-war liberals who saw complexity in the US situation in the Middle East and the War on Terror.  Friends here in Beirut have been posting this like, posting facebook statuses like "America! Fuck Yeah!" and "Talk abbotabad place to hide" like this is all a big party, a big joke, a total victory for the US over the Dark Side.  

The only thing this could do in terms of a victory would be to win Obama points with conservatives and make his commitment to homeland security demonstratively a moot point, at least as far as the sound byte pundits are concerned.  But I've had a chilling thought - I remember thinking in the run up to the 2004 election that, wouldn't it be funny if George Bush had actually had Osama captive for months, and was just keeping him hidden away somewhere, waiting to reveal right before election day to sweep the election.  How manipulative, how risky, how very Bush! I thought at the time.  But now I wake up and find that it's actually Obama, my president, the man I voted for, who made that call, took that risk.  It's most probable that this really was the best time for the capture/kill mission, that intelligence was only a certain thing after all this time, and not that he postponed or anything for political expediency.  But I imagine that he thought it might help with the campaign.  Any chance he'll use this political momentum to push through controversial domestic legislation, or close Gitmo?  Not a chance in hell.  In fact, the words announcing Osama's death were barely out of his mouth before he was spouting more of the fear rhetoric I've gotten so used to hearing from politicians the world over - "There’s no doubt that al Qaeda will continue to pursue attacks against us.  We must –- and we will — remain vigilant at home and abroad."  Constant vigilance!  Never give up, never surrender!  He's right that Osama's death does not dismantle al-Qaeda, but I'm so sick of being told to be afraid.  Why can't we have a president who tells us to be BRAVE?!?!  What about FDR, telling us that the only thing to be afraid is fear?  How far have we come, that now it seems as if American politics would cease to function if we ever all stopped being so damn afraid.  Here I am in Lebanon, defying a travel advisory high-alert that's been in place for decades, officially withdrawn from my university so that they don't have to risk liability, and I couldn't be safer or happier.  To me, the name Beirut means an apartment with a sea view, an ancient city at the crossroads of histories, the best bars and cafes I've ever seen, the plastic surgery capital of the world, a world-class university, delicious mezze and coffee, a rapidly growing feminist movement, growing humanitarian consciousness of migrant workers rights, a tri-lingual slam poetry scene, and a walkable Mediterranean city with a beautiful laid-back vibe.  To most Americans, watching the news and reading the papers and listening to the officials, it means war, anti-Semitism, and just that nebulous feeling of fear and danger that makes people say "Wow.  Why?" when they find out I'm studying here.   I am sick of fear politics - I've pulled away the curtain, and I see the man behind it - the shriveled, lying, angry, hateful little thing that has created a nation of people who cheer for death.  

They say they're going to release pictures of his corpse - they've claimed the body, it's all ours, thrown off a ship into the sea.  They've kept his DNA, they'll be doing samples.  They'll release the results, release the post-mortem pictures.  I'm reminded of the hanging of Saddam Hussein, broadcast on national and international tv, millions of viewers.  What is wrong with us.  

In 2002, just before the war started, there was an international march of over 10 million people worldwide.  My parents took me and my sister into the streets to shout and protest and be with other activists, and I'll never forget it.  I remember getting dressed and ready to go to my first protest, remember my mom grabbing the United Nations flag that she had ordered earlier that month.  12 years old and ignorant but well-intentioned, I vehemently said, "I wish I had an Iraqi flag to wave!"  My mom shuddered and kind of laughed, and clarified that just because she was against the war did not mean that she was pro-Saddam Hussein.  I know now that it's exactly that complexity, the understanding that not every important battle is between two sides, and the ability to stand apart from overly simplistic dualities with integrity, passion and morality is the most important duty of an American citizen.  At least the United States of America that I want to live in.  I also wonder - what flag can I reach for now?  What standard can I bear?  Does anyone speak for me, with me?   

Let me be clear - I'm not mourning for Osama bin Laden.  The man was a monster, a sick terrorist, responsible for the needless and brutal deaths of thousands of Americans and even more Arabs.  But he was a terrorist that we created.  Literally.  We - the Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan governments, the American people - put the first automatic weapon into his hands, funded his Afghani mujahideen and Reagan called him a freedom fighter and commended his valor.  We paid the exorbitant oil prices that made his family rich and produced the fortune that still funds al-Qaeda.  We are not clean.  Killing him does not wipe blood of our hands, and it does not even some balance hanging in the sky between "us" and "them."  It is just more killing.  I'm not mourning him.  I'm mourning for the reaction in the States, mourning the absence of the reaction I would have wanted.  Or perhaps that reaction is there, but the mainstream news keeps feeding us this fucked up cocktail of victory and fear, and I'm mourning for what could have been.  

The season of Passover has just ended, and there is a line in the Exodus story that has been resounding in my head since yesterday.  After God frees the Hebrews from bondage in Egypt and brings them safely across the Red Sea, he drops the sea on the pursuing Egyptians, drowning them all. 

"When the Egyptian armies were drowning in the sea, the Heavenly Hosts broke out in songs of jubilation. God silenced them and said, "My creatures are perishing, and you sing praises?"  Though we descend from those redeemed from brutal Egypt, and have ourselves rejoiced to see oppressors overcome, yet our triumph is diminished by the slaughter of the foe."

God said, "My creatures are perishing and you sing praises?" and allowed no jubilation at the destruction of human life.  The Heavenly Hosts and the Hebrews were allowed and encouraged to sing songs of freedom, to celebrate their liberation, to thank and love their God and be grateful for their safety and their freedom - but not to celebrate death.  I think the celebration of death is what makes us monsters - terrorists, Nazis, dictators, serial killers, all these sociopathic entities enjoyed killing for its own sake, for pleasure and personal triumph.  We are not them.  Or we should not be.  Even to this day, the Jews who celebrate Passover spill drops of wine from their glasses onto their plates in sadness for the suffering of the Egyptians, lessening the cup of joy because others of God's creation, even those creations who are our enemies, are suffering.  That compassion, that humanity, that was entirely absent from the crowds celebrating in New York and D.C. 

Humanity and compassion and understanding and strength are what we so desperately need.  What other weapons do we have against fear, terror, destruction, ignorance and hatred?  

But what makes me saddest is seeing my government and my people pick up the weapons of the enemy, kill him with it, and then sing songs of jubilation.  Osama bin Laden is dead, and I am glad that he will never kill an innocent person or spread his ignorant, oppressive agenda of fear and cruelty again.  But when I look at my own country, my cup of joy is lessened.